His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
