there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
