are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
