The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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