Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
