you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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