why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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