taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
