I hate all girls vehemently.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
