That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
