I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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