i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
