did you get engaged???
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
