my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
birth control should be required to get into college
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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