paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
