Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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