I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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