Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
