You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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