Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
