This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
where are you?
Hypothermia
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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