His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
