so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
