It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
