i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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