This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
