Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just forgot I was standing up.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
This can only be settled by a dance off.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
