Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
