I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
