Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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