This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
