that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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