new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
