I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
