your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
