we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
