Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
