This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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