"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
