that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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