Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
