You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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