6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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