There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
