Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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