ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just had sex on a roof
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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