im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
