drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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