rhymes with "ouble enetration"
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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