nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
