I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
